This post was originally published on this site.
When you are deciding whether to get married, your thoughts might center on things like where you and your partner will tie the knot, what you’ll wear, and who is on the guest list.
However, some couples find themselves stuck on decisions about their finances. Financial incompatibility and fights about money can put serious stress on a relationship. But not discussing finances, especially before marriage, can be a major pitfall for couples.
In fact, financial incompatibility is a predictor of divorce. A study from Ramsey Solutions found that money is the number one issue married couples argue about, and the number two predictor of divorce, after infidelity (1).
With so much at stake, couples who don’t have honest conversations about finances before marriage are taking a major risk.
Imagine Debora, who is 55 and has never been married, but is in a happy, long-term relationship. Her partner, Sam, wants to get married, but Debora is worried about his finances: he is $80,000 in debt, $50,000 of which is medical debt, the other $30,000 is high interest credit card debt.
Debora, on the other hand, is debt-free and financially stable. She owns a house that is worth nearly $1 million, has $600,000 in retirement savings, and $200,000 in other investments. She also has an adult daughter from a previous relationship, who she wants to make sure is taken care of financially after she passes.
Debora is concerned about how to keep her finances stable while still marrying the love of her life. She also wants to make sure her daughter inherits all her assets, and is concerned that she will be on the hook for Sam’s debts if they get married.
Here’s what she needs to know about financial compatibility, plus some tips on navigating the tough challenges of combining finances with your partner.
Debora’s concerns about what will happen to her property — and Sam’s debts — after marriage depend on the laws in her state.
In common law states, which covers most of the country, property owned before the marriage is considered separate, and any property acquired during a marriage is not automatically considered to be owned by both parties (2).
In states with community property laws, property and debts acquired during the marriage are owned equally. Property owned before the marriage, as well as debt, are not considered to be owned by both parties (3).
In other words, Debora would not be liable for Sam’s past debts if they got married, whether they live in a community property or common law state.
However, if he racked up new debt while they were married, she could be liable in a community property state, or if she was the co-signer on any loans in a common law state, including if the debt was for joint property or essential goods for the family.
Of course, Debora can protect her assets by entering into a prenuptial agreement. Even in community property states, a prenuptial agreement will often override the community property laws (4).
No matter whether Debora lives in a community property or common law state, she may be concerned that Sam will incur new debt after they are married — and that this will impact their shared finances and lifestyle. She may want to consider his financial habits and beliefs before deciding to get married.
Read More: Vanguard reveals what could be coming for U.S. stocks, and it’s raising alarm bells for retirees. Here’s why and how to protect yourself
Before you get married, be sure you understand your partner’s complete financial picture, including savings, other assets and debt.
In addition to the hard numbers, be sure to discuss:
-
Your ideal living situation, and whether you want to become joint homeowners
-
How you will divide paying bills
-
Your retirement savings goals
-
Your beliefs and attitudes about money
-
Whether you consider yourself a saver or a spender
It’s likely you could discover that you have different ideas about one or several of these aspects of your financial life. Even you and your partner’s ideas about how you will save and invest your money could vary greatly.
Once you have established your views, you may worry if you have a lot of differences in how you view money. Remember that it’s unlikely you’ll find a partner who agrees with you completely. Building compatibility means discussing your views, identifying where those views differ, and then working toward finding a compromise.
For Debora, talking openly about finances with Sam can help them get on the same page and build a clear picture of the healthy financial future she envisions.
If Sam is not on board — or is hoping Debora will be his ticket to financial freedom — these serious discussions will help her to make a decision on their marital compatibility.
We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.
Ramsey Solutions (1); Find Law (2); Stimmel Law (3); The Tax Advisor (4).
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.