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First comes love, then marriage, and then separate bank accounts.
The days of “what’s yours is mine” may be behind us as more and more couples move toward keeping their personal finances personal.
According to 2023 data from the U.S. Census Bureau’s Survey of Income and Program Participation, the share of couples without any joint bank accounts rose by more than half, from 15% in 1996 to 23% in 2023. Meanwhile, the share of couples with joint bank accounts has declined, though the practice remains common.
Marrying later in life, after finances have already been established, may be one reason fewer couples are combining accounts, the survey said.
A more recent survey from Bankrate underscores this, finding that fewer than 2 in 5 American couples (38%) completely combine their finances, and about 1 in 4 (26%) keep their financial accounts completely separate. The remaining 36% have a mix of joint and separate accounts.
Read more: Should unmarried couples have joint bank accounts?
Experts say these kinds of boundaries aren’t necessarily about shutting your partner out. It’s more about protecting your personal security within your relationship.
“Many couples choose to keep some or all of their finances separate to preserve autonomy or reduce conflict,” said Kimberly Miller, lawyer, marriage, and family therapist, CFP®, CDFA®, and founder of PartWise, a divorce education platform. “This approach can feel especially practical for partners who entered the relationship with assets or debts, substantially different incomes, or children.”
Some couples may also choose to keep their finances separate if one or both partners have experienced financial control or instability.
Miller notes that separate or hybrid financial arrangements are especially prominent among younger generations, who favor independence over shared finances, as well as among some older generations, who may be in their second or third marriages and tend to prioritize personal asset protection.
However, keeping your finances separate can also come with emotional downsides — and potential tax implications.
“Clarity, openness, and fewer financial disputes are some advantages. It can hold each partner responsible for spending habits and make budgeting easier,” said Jenny Bradley, a board-certified family law specialist, author, certified mediator, and the founder of Triangle Smart Divorce in North Carolina. “But if there is no mutual understanding, it can bring about suspicion or estrangement. If a couple is overly strict about their separation, they may also lose out on some of the monetary benefits of combining resources, such as pooled investments or tax breaks.”
In 2025, Married Filing Separately taxpayers get a standard deduction of $15,750. However, couples who file jointly get a standard deduction of $31,500, which is up from $14,600 and $29,200, respectively, in 2024. Filing jointly also raises certain income thresholds so that you can still qualify for tax breaks you may not have qualified for as a single filer.
Read more: Tax brackets and rates for 2025-2026
Your finances don’t have to be completely joint or completely separate. In fact, most partners strike the perfect balance somewhere in the middle. However, in order to do that, you’ll need to have open and honest communication with your significant other about how you envision your financial relationship with them.
As your relationship and your finances evolve over time, your decision to keep things joint or separate could change, which is why it’s important to keep the lines of communication open and check in with each other frequently to make sure that your current arrangement is still the best fit.
If you tackle these conversations early on in your relationship, you can set clear boundaries and come up with an arrangement that you’ll both be happy with.
“Money conversations should begin early, ideally before major commitments like living together, marriage, or having children,” said Miller. “Ongoing financial communication and goal setting also make sense. Setting financial parameters in a relationship works best when couples start with shared financial goals, agree on what expenses are joint versus individual, and document decisions in writing, even though that may not be protected in divorce.”
As you’re approaching these conversations with your partner, it’s also important to keep in mind that your partner’s approach to money is rarely arbitrary. Their financial decisions and habits are likely influenced by a number of factors, including their upbringing and culture.
“Seeing financial volatility as a child may make someone more cautious and want to keep money separate,” Bradley said. “Others may organically merge if they were raised in houses where money was shared. Knowing each partner’s past helps develop a strategy that benefits both parties.”
If you’re embarking on this financial journey with your partner and aren’t sure how you want to proceed, there are a few steps you can take to come up with the right arrangement.
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Come to the table with your financial facts: Knowing your partner’s financial situation, including debts, assets, spending habits, and financial values, can help you level set and pinpoint the areas where you are most aligned. This is also an opportunity to ask questions and better understand your partner and their money philosophy — and for them to do the same.
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Be honest about any emotional feelings this process can stir up: As you’re having these conversations with your partner, be honest about how the process is making you feel. Not disclosing your feelings can create a barrier between the two of you and could lead you to make choices that aren’t necessarily aligned with what you want.
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Decide what’s absolutely a joint expense or goal: Splitting up your goals and expenses into “yours, mine, ours” columns can help you see your shared financial picture from an aerial view and understand how your money works together. This can help you determine if a joint financial situation is appropriate or if keeping things separate — or at least partially separate — makes the most sense. For example, if one partner has student loans on an income-driven repayment plan, maintaining some financial separation — particularly around tax filing and income reporting — can help protect the other partner from taking on that debt and may prevent monthly payments from increasing due to a higher combined household income.
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Set up regular check-ins: Your finances can and will change. As such, you’ll want to keep things flexible, check in with your partner periodically, and be open to your arrangement changing to better accommodate your finances and goals.
Read more: 4 common mistakes couples make that lead to divorce (and how to avoid them)